The Southern way of phrasing things

on Wednesday, 14 March 2018. Posted in Columns, Opinions

By: Brenda Harrison

If you’ve grown up in the South, you’re heard all, or most, of the following sayings about people and life. You’ve probably said some of them yourself:

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

I feel like I’ve been chewed up and spit out.

He’s been rode hard and put up wet!

It is hotter than blue blazes.

Bless your pea-pickin’ little heart!

If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay under the porch.

He’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

She couldn’t carry a tune if she had a bucket with a lid on it.

You better give your heart to Jesus, ‘cause your butt is mine.

I’m gonna tan your hide.

She’s having a hissy fit. He’s having a duck fit. (A step above a hissy fit.)

I been running all over hell’s half acre.

I’m as busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox.

She has her nose so high in the air she could drown in a rainstorm.

He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.

I’m too poor to paint, too proud to whitewash. 

I’m as poor as a church mouse.

I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.

He’s as happy as if he had good sense.

Well that just dills my pickle.

She could make a preacher cuss!

If you don’t stop that crying, I’ll give you something to cry about!

She could start an argument in an empty house.

About lying: That dog won’t hunt. If his lips’s movin’, he’s lyin’. You’d call an alligator a lizard.

About stupidity: The porch light’s on, but no one’s home. He’s only got one oar in the water. He hasn’t got the sense God gave a goose.

Source: wanderwisdom. com