SLOAN: Nothing like a good ‘Rooneyism’
One of the highlights of my week as a young adult was to sit down in front of the television and enjoy my Sunday night dinner while watching “60 Minutes.”
It’s not as good as it once was, but I still like watching 60 Minutes on occasion. With all due respect to the program’s present journalists, it’s simply not the same without the likes Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, and Ed Bradley.
At the end of nearly each program, viewers were treated to “A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney.” The old codger was a real hoot, telling it like it is and more often than not leaving you with something to think about. His witty criticism could leave you in stitches.
His common sense nuggets of wisdom came to be known as “Rooneyisms.” One of my all-time favorite segments by the salty Rooney was about things he’d learned over the years.
Things I’ve Learned, by Andy Rooney
I’ve learned that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I’ve learned that when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
I’ve learned that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I’ve learned that being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned that I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I’ve learned that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
I’ve learned that money doesn’t buy class.
I’ve learned that it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned that to ignore the facts does not change the facts. I’ve learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I’ve learned that love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I’ve learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. I’ve learned that life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I’ve learned that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I’ve learned that I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I’ve learned that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them. I’ve learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve learned that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
I’ve learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve learned that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Contact Editor Bob Sloan at editor@florence newsjournal.com.